Why We Choose Our Parents

There is a concept in Jewish mystical thought known as gilgul, which can be translated as reincarnation. Gilgul does not necessarily mean that a soul in its entirety has been reincarnated; it may only be a nitzotz, or spark of a soul, that is reincarnated. That is to say that an individual can possess a nitzotz from the soul of someone who has lived previously. Gilgul occurs when the preceding incarnation of that soul has more to accomplish FGF.

Rabbi Menashe Ben Israel of the 17th century writes that the word, gilgul, in Hebrew letters equals the numerical value of 72, which is also chesed, the Hebrew word for kindness. When this type of numerical connection occurs,it implies a conceptual relationship. In this case, reincarnation is seen as the ultimate kindness, in that a soul is given another chance for the refinement of its past and the spiritual advancement of its future.

Ultimately, a soul can never fail. To succeed, the soul will come back as many times as necessary to fulfill its spiritual mission. This is the view of the Kabbalists, who call the process of the soul's returning for the purpose of rectification tikkun, or repair. Sometimes it is discussed as the birur hisaron, or the clearing of a shortcoming Shipping Agent.

If greatness is your soul's destiny, then to achieve it, it's only logical that you have a plan. Just as you would not head off to college without knowing about the school you'll be attending, souls do not randomly incarnate into this world. Rather, souls arrive with a very specific curriculum containing both goals and challenges. Your parents are a big part of that program.

It is in this respect that the Hasidic master Rabbi Yisrael of Rhizin teaches that our souls choose our parents. While the reasons for a soul's choice of parents will vary, it is always significant. Reasons can include past life relationships, or simply the conducive environment that the parents can provide for the soul in achieving its overall goal.

In a broad sense, your parents are the guarantors of your mission. How this works is different in every case. One possibility is that your parents will provide positive mentoring, as guides and as a support system. Another is the opposite - that they will model for you what you do not want to become and thus clarify the positive direction in which you need to go. For many it is a combination of the two. The key is to know that directly or indirectly, your parents create the fire behind your passion to grow toward your spiritual advancement Playgroup.